It's almost impossible to read an article, open a book, visit a website, or hear an expert speak (who isn't an expert these days?) without being buried in well-intended and unsolicited advice. Advice that’s almost always intended for someone else. Make sense? Nope, I think not. The best kind of advice is almost always given to ourselves. Because you're the only one who knows what you really need. Of course, you’ve got to have an open mind and it takes some courage to do something with your own advice. That’s why we’d rather give advice to other people; it’s much better for our egos. But how can you advise others when you're not even capable of managing yourself? Would you take skiing lessons from someone who can't ski? Seriously. Just stop. Cut it out. Try listening for a change. You might actually hear something, make a connection, and earn more…. attention, respect, and money.

In order to back that up, I’d like to share a series of five articles featuring the 5² Life Hacks that I use as guidelines for myself. Isn't it comforting to know you don't have to take them personally? I’ve learned all 25 by trial and error, some by damage and disgrace. Anyway, this is the third of the series: 5 Life Hacks as a Social Being. Wanna read it in Dutch? There you go. Cheers!

SERVING. NOT SELLING. — There are people who only take. Suckers. Quite often they’re even nice people. They're like sales people who've only got eyes on the prize. They're so fucking lonely and only think of themselves. They make no connections whatsoever. That’s the reason they keep having to find new victims time and again. You're socially sustainable when you focus on the well-being, growth, and importance of the other. If you only do that with clients but not in any of your other social relationships, then you’re just a one trick pony. You’ve taught yourself to do it. Think about Heineken’s Serving the Planet but, instead of beer, make it service. Service someone else’s needs because, eventually, it’ll serve you. Stop reading this for a minute. Let that one sink in.

ABC ALWAYS BE CONNECTING — What always baffles me, particularly about sales people, is that they never seem to have good insight into the network of their network. If you know 100 people well, and they know 100 people well, you have a network of 10,000 at your disposal of friends who want the best for each other. As is the case with big data, the network is dumb until you start making the connections: the algorithm. What extraordinary thing do you offer, that everybody would like to grant to three of their friends? You don’t have a clue, do you? Otherwise, you would have gained 300 new clients x your average order size = how much money you’ve failed to make because you don’t see it? That much? Ouch.

IT’S THE LIFE IN YOUR YEARS — Voilà. It’s not the years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years. Life must be lived. To the fullest. Intense. I was once staring death in the face, but I was lucky that my immune system was stronger than cancer. I’ve made it through traumas and depression – as a result, maybe it’s a little easier for me to make “live life to the fullest” my mantra. Quit wasting time. Quit bitching and making excuses, and other useless crap. Stop worrying about what others think. Life deserves to be celebrated. Go out and party. Laugh. Roar with laughter. Until your stomach hurts. Be with your loved ones. That’s enough. “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.”

YOUR INNER CIRCLE — Jim Rohn: “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”. We’re very much shaped by the people around us. They reflect the way we think, act, make decisions. They even effect our levels of confidence. Time to shake things up a little. Say goodbye to the people who unilaterally draw energy from you. They are poisoning your mind. Spend time creating a crew of positive peers from who you can expect honest feedback when you need it. You won’t learn much if you only surround yourself with “yes-men”. Get rid of all the whiners. If you don't, you can't celebrate that party from the previous topic. Cheers!

PLEASING PERSONALITY — That's one of Napoleon Hill’s Laws of success from his eponymous masterpiece from 1926. A pleasing personality has a whopping 25 characteristics. Can you learn them, and integrate them into your personality? I have no idea, but it does determines wheather your communication is accepted by others; there's no influence without a pleasing personality. If I were you, I’d try to figure out a way to have one. How pleasant are you to be around? How skilled are you at conveying your vision as an entrepreneur, salesman, partner, friend, or a human being? Look, I’m still amazed by a salesperson who never gets beyond doing the occasional sales training course and never reads a book on the subject of influencing people. Isn’t that incredible?